I know this boy. He’s 19, a year older than me and I am utterly fascinated by him. This isn’t me revealing my crush by the way in case you thought that was where this post is going.
From the moment I met him he just had something about him. When he speaks he lifts his eyes upwards and every word he spoke inspired me. He doesn’t seem like he’s from this planet. He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. He stands out and I can’t help but be completely enthralled by him. It’s not like I view him as some sort of piece of entertainment, I’m just sort of completely in awe of him, but then I also feel a heavy empathy for him. I want to help him and understand him, but I sort of feel dumb and inferior in his presence. We’ve hung out a couple of times. I treasured the words he spoke. They were enlightening, free and rebellious, he saw the world in this amazing way. I wanted to look through the glasses he had on. I knew that they also carried a heavy burden. People I’d spoken to thought he was strange, he was referred to a weirdo, but a friendly weirdo. I didn’t like the way people saw him as a novelty.
When he would talk about his views he would speak in a way I could understand, a simplified version of his dream. He got ill, very ill and had a breakdown. He got sectioned at a hospital. I regret never visiting him, but I just felt like my presence wasn’t enough? I wish I knew him, like really knew him.
I was saw him when I was on the bus today. He was walking in a direction different to everybody else.